Do what you've gotta do...

It happened yet again, a mother being judged and made to feel as if she were doing something wrong while feeding her child.

This mom was upset by her treatment and her commenters (including myself) were moved to action on her behalf. Hopefully the airline hears the message and responds appropriately. Please lend your support if you’re inclined.

What strikes me most about this is that it was another woman who harassed this mom. (and yes, it WAS harassment) Why must we always be so quick to judge and condemn one another? Why is this topic so heated on both sides? This particular conversation has remained mostly civil, and HBM has been quick to defend any woman’s choice in feeding her child. But I’ve seen these conversations devolve into mudslinging contests that boggle the mind, with one side accusing nursing mothers of needing to flaunt their breasts and expecting special treatment, and Pro-Breastfeeding mothers mentioning their disgust at seeing anyone bottlefeed their child. Why? Why can’t we just support each other in whatever it takes to keep our children fed and healthy? Seriously, I don’t have any answers here but would love some opinions.

To share my experience – I have four children, one of who was breastfed. Jonathan was born 16 years ago. I had been bottlefed, I had never seen or been exposed to (pun intended) anyone who breastfed. My child’s pediatrician, who was MY pediatrician growing up, assumed that I would bottle feed and “prescribed” my son’s formula. I simply never thought to question his assumption. Matt was born 18 month’s later and through Mommy’s groups etc I had learned a little about breastfeeding and asked our pediatrician – I was assured that there was no need to do “that” and that formula was healthier (OK – pick your jaws up off the floor!)

There was a five year span before Christopher and in that time I learned a LOT and became much more confident about being a mother. The pediatrician had been replaced, mostly because we both had a difficult time letting go of our previous relationship with him as the authority figure and couldn’t make the transition to me as a parent. Our new ped was very pro-breastfeeding and without judging my previous choices educated me as to why she felt breastfeeding was a better choice. After a rough start, we got our act together and enjoyed a wonderful nursing experience.

Cassie…well, she was a whole different experience. I was so looking forward to our nursing relationship. After she was born, I got used to the fact that my “relationship” was going to be with a pump, and boy did I try. This was the only parenting I could really take part in…this was the only way that I felt I could be her mother. Unfortunately my body was NOT clued into our new status as breastfeeding mom and after struggling to produce precious drops at a time for weeks; my body finally quit producing at all.

I never really had anyone question my choice with the first two. With Christopher I was treated to quite a few snide comments. The comments hurt and made me question myself. With Cassie, more than once I’ve received that “disgusted” look while feeding her with a bottle in public, with one woman actually confronting me and bringing me to task for being lazy and choosing the bottle. I didn’t feel the need to educate her with my struggle and disappointment, but went home and cried.

So what I’d like to say is that I support you no matter what your choice is…Do what you’ve gotta do…